Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What did the man say to his doctor?

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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