What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

karn chevalier

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

An Asian person drove home safely.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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