I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops