How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops