Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Cripples are lame.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops