What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Frontbut-

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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I enjoy Popcorn

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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