A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Jersey Shore.

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people magazine

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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