What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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