Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops