Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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