An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops