Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops