Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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