Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If your reading this, youre not blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops