Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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Sixty... eight

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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