Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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