A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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