What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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ejaculation JLR

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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