you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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