The Oakland Raiders

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Dance is a sport

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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