Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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