If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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