Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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