What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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i have no freinds on facebook.... overated

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops