whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Sex

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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