What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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