"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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eat a hot dog

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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