Where's my tractor?

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Gay republicans

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops