hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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