What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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This is funny.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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