Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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