You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops