Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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being sober in a bar fight

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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Major League Soccer

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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