if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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