Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

What fires shots? A gun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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