your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops