An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

Guess who is violent. Osama

Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

Chuck Norris.

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

5 - samios in a wheelchair.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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