How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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womens rights

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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