what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A:Knock Knock B:It's open

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops