Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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stinky boner

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops