Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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your mom is so fat.

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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