Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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