What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

a. why? b. because

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

feminism

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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