Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops