There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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save me from the nothing ive become

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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