How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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