Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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