Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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anus

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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