Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Pickles are powerful

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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