Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Hi

Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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