Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Vaginal secretions

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops