A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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