Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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25.

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Gus's mom

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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VAL SUCKS

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops